Prepare for Valentine’s Day Now!

By · Saturday, February 5th, 2011


By Dr. Cindy Brown

Are you one of those people who dread Valentines Day? Are you afraid it will not turn out exactly the way you want it to? Well I would like to help you change your attitude this Valentine’s Day with a few simple strategies I teach my clients all the time.

Whether you are in a relationship, or you are single (see #5). It really can be a nice celebration of love and caring for yourself, or each other if you are sensitive about expectations, feelings, fears, wants and needs. Let’s look at the different ways you can make it a “win win” for everyone!

1. Start out by initiating a conversation about Valentine’s Day today, this week (with yourself and/or with your partner)! It’s possible he/she hasn’t even focused on it yet, or forgot it is next week, or forgot on purpose to avoid uncomfortable feelings that he/she is not even conscious of. Don’t react to this, simply be pleasant and encourage a loving conversation. Explore gently what expectations either of you have about; the day or evening or both; gifts or no gifts; trips or stay at home, etc. and start to understand the tone of what your partner is feeling at this time about the event, so you can know how to proceed next.

2. Once you have explored #1 and you feel he/she is open to your suggestions, give your partner a list of choices of items you’d like; places you would like to go, food you would like to eat, activities you’d like to do- in all price ranges, add some things he/she could do that would cost him/her nothing (do the laundry, go for a hike together, give you a massage etc)

3. Be specific about colors, flavors, restaurant names, times of the day, activities. *Do not be vague or mysterious, or try to have him guess or surprise you- this usually leads to unfulfilled expectations and upset (my Relationship Secrets Product has a whole section on upset.) Help your partner be successful, help yourself be fulfilled and happy…BE SPECIFIC and detailed!

4. As far as wanting clothing as a gift- go try it on and give him/her sizes, colors, style of clothing, name of store, or go put it on hold with your name, tell the store clerk who will pick it up.*DON’T GIVE HIM/HER A RANDOM CLOTHING ARTICLE AND EXPECT HIM/HER TO FIND IT AND GET THE RIGHT SIZE! This can be a disaster!

5. Remember to ask your partner the same, what does he/she want as well. Please don’t expect it is your holiday. Your partner wants to feel appreciated and special as well!

6. If you are not in a relationship treat yourself to a wonderful day of pampering and celebrating you! Valentines Day doesn’t have to be just about two people in a relationship. Celebrate the relationship you have, or want to have with you!

I was single for years and each year I would buy myself a big bouquet of roses, a SMALL box of chocolates (got to watch my girlish figure), gave myself a good foot massage. I even bought some sexy lingerie for myself and wore it to work that day under my business suit. Nobody knew, but I felt sexy J! **Don’t’ forget to celebrate YOU! You are important whether or not anybody else acknowledges that or not, You need to acknowledge yourself. I know you will feel better if you do!

I am hoping these suggestions will allow you to have a better V.D. this year, whether you are single or coupled it can be a time of celebration. Please let me know your experiences and any other tips you may have that I missed. If you need additional coaching and support please call me (310) 202-1610 Ext. 1 and we can set up a session to help you. Happy VD!

Remember: In order to be the person you have never been, In order to have the life and relationships you have never had, You must do what you have never done before: Give me a call or contact me 310-202-1610 so I can support you further!

© 2007-2011 Dr. Cindy Brown

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