Do You Need Spring Cleaning For Your Relationships?

By · Saturday, March 12th, 2011 · Comments Off on Do You Need Spring Cleaning For Your Relationships?

“Spring Cleaning for Your Relationship(s)” 


By Dr. Cindy Brown

Spring is seasonally a time of new beginnings for plants and animals. It’s also a time for humans to start assessing what has happened previously in the first quarter and to determine if you want to continue that for the rest of the year.

I think it’s a great time as well to look at your relationship(s) and cleanup, or clean out what is not working and plant something new that will grow and harvest throughout the rest of the year. Here are some steps you can take that can help you clean-up your relationships so they are more fulfilling:

Take an Inventory: Ask yourself right now- is your relationship the way you want it to be? Look at your personal as well as your relationships at the office and with friends and family. Be honest with yourself, dig deeper, this is the first step to creating change and having the relationship of your dreams!

Write a list of all the things, issues you don’t like in the relationship. The issues you are angry or frustrated about, The things you are not getting or that you want instead, The things that dishonor you, The issues that take away your ability to be loving or kind to the other person.

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Prepare for Valentine’s Day Now!

By · Saturday, February 5th, 2011 · Comments Off on Prepare for Valentine’s Day Now!

“HOW TO HAVE THE BEST VALENTINE’S DAY EVER?”

By Dr. Cindy Brown

Are you one of those people who dread Valentines Day? Are you afraid it will not turn out exactly the way you want it to? Well I would like to help you change your attitude this Valentine’s Day with a few simple strategies I teach my clients all the time.

Whether you are in a relationship, or you are single (see #5). It really can be a nice celebration of love and caring for yourself, or each other if you are sensitive about expectations, feelings, fears, wants and needs. Let’s look at the different ways you can make it a “win win” for everyone!

1. Start out by initiating a conversation about Valentine’s Day today, this week (with yourself and/or with your partner)! It’s possible he/she hasn’t even focused on it yet, or forgot it is next week, or forgot on purpose to avoid uncomfortable feelings that he/she is not even conscious of. Don’t react to this, simply be pleasant and encourage a loving conversation. Explore gently what expectations either of you have about; the day or evening or both; gifts or no gifts; trips or stay at home, etc. and start to understand the tone of what your partner is feeling at this time about the event, so you can know how to proceed next.

2. Once you have explored #1 and you feel he/she is open to your suggestions, give your partner a list of choices of items you’d like; places you would like to go, food you would like to eat, activities you’d like to do- in all price ranges, add some things he/she could do that would cost him/her nothing (do the laundry, go for a hike together, give you a massage etc)

3. Be specific about colors, flavors, restaurant names, times of the day, activities. *Do not be vague or mysterious, or try to have him guess or surprise you- this usually leads to unfulfilled expectations and upset (my Relationship Secrets Product has a whole section on upset.) Help your partner be successful, help yourself be fulfilled and happy…BE SPECIFIC and detailed!

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Secrets To Accomplishing A BIG Goal

By · Monday, January 3rd, 2011 · Comments Off on Secrets To Accomplishing A BIG Goal

“Secrets To Accomplishing A BIG Goal This Year, FNALLY!”

By Dr. Cindy Brown

Many of you have goals you want to accomplish each New Year, but for some reason you don’t accomplish them. WHY?

Some of the reasons seem to be:

√You Don’t write your goal down because you are afraid to fail, be judged by yourself or others for not completing it.

√You Don’t write the goal down in a plan you can follow, so you have no plan to follow, so you may fail to complete it.

√You don’t think about the tasks needed to complete the goal, so there’s no plan, so you don’t move forward and complete it.

√You don’t tell anyone, so there’s no accountability, nor any motivation from others to move towards completion of your goal, You can hide, then you fail yourself and your goal!

√You have a strong, vocal and active sabotager part of yourself that allows you make excuses to stop moving towards your goal, distracts you from wanting to do what you need to do to accomplish your goal, justifies your actions or inaction, gives you a way out!

Do any of these sound familiar to you?

I know I have participated in all of them, so you are not alone! Nor should you feel like you are a complete failure and you will never be successful at accomplishing what you want. Instead, like any person learning a new skill, we need to learn good habits and ways of moving forward in order to master the art of goal accomplishment.

These are some of the secrets I have learned on my journey to accomplishing my goals and even failing at some of my goals:

I need to let other people know what I am doing so I am accountable and motivated by this “being seen” to keep moving forward and complete what I started. I can’t hide! Nor can I not complete what I started due to this accountibility.

-I need to have a plan, with tasks that fit well in my schedule, My tasks need to be easy to do in the timeframe I plan for, it needs to be convenient for me.

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Is LOVE Enough?

By · Sunday, December 5th, 2010 · Comments Off on Is LOVE Enough?

“Is Love ENOUGH?”

By Dr. Cindy Brown

We think when we meet someone and fall in love that the love should be enough to just heal any problem or issue in our relationships…Right?

However as we go along, we see that Relationships can be and often are very complicated due to the different personalities, backgrounds and relationship experience of the two people involved.

The thing is, we don’t receive much training for relationships in our younger years or in school, and often the only experience we did receive is witnessing our caregivers interact as our role models. And so what we witnessed as a child becomes what we learn, know and what is familiar to us. Then what we do is… either do exactly what we have seen and are familiar with, OR we try to do the opposite without any real training of what is healthy and what will actually work with our partner and our unique relationship.

It is understandable that the majority of people who are in relationships have very unhealthy ways of relating. Communication is a tricky concept, and often men and women speak and listen and comprehend differently, however we expect each other to do the same things and get frustrated when we both don’t do what each other wants. Women complain men don’t listen or open up and share their feelings or anything!! AND Men complain women talk a lot and are always nagging them.

SO What should you do? I recommend getting some coaching early so your relationship doesn’t get to be a bigger problem than it is. You wouldn’t wait weeks and weeks OR EVEN months and years to fix a problem with your health or car, would you?

Let me, the DR, know if there are any questions you need answered, or advice you need, I am here to help you! ***Please do not make the mistake of many and feel too proud that you should know everything, or be too ashamed or embarrassed to ask for help. The smartest couples ask for help and advice when there are issues. Be proactive, not reactive and your relationship will be more of a success!

Remember: In order to be the person you have never been, In order to have the life and relationships you have never had, You must do what you have never done before: Give me a call 310-202-1610 or contact me so I can support you in having the best life you’ve ever had!

© 2009-2010 Dr. Cindy Brown 



WOULD YOU LIKE TO USE THIS RELATIONSHIP TIP?

You may, as long as you include the following information along with this Tip:

Dr. Cindy Brown, author of The Cinderella System, helps Women and Men understand themselves better from the Inside-Out, So You Too can have a Successful Life and Relationship Now! Dr. Brown assists you to communicate your needs better, teaches you listening skills, helps you love and accept your body and to give and enjoy pleasure, all so you can live the amazing, happy life you deserve and desire! If you want to have and live the relationship and life you really, really want, subscribe now to my award winning online Blog Relationship Intelligence and get my FR*E Tips at www.TheCinderellaSystemBook.com or www.DrCBrown.com

What’s Scary About Being In A Relationship, Part 1

By · Tuesday, November 2nd, 2010 · Comments Off on What’s Scary About Being In A Relationship, Part 1

“What’s Scary About Being in a Relationship? Part 1”

By Dr. Cindy Brown

What’s scary about being in a relationship?

I’ll tell you! There are many things we hear from our friends, we see in the news, on TV, or in the latest movies such as “Why Did I Get Married?

AND despite the age-old myth of “you live happily ever after… in bliss,” being in a relationship takes some work!  You actually do have learn, know and use some relationship skills to make it last longer these days. We only know how challenging it can be because we see divorce rates soaring, our friends are in unstable relationships or breaking up and we see the constant popularity of the online-dating revolving door.

So what are some of the challenges people are having being in relationship?

This is what my friends and clients are reflecting to me are their issues…

(1.)Communication: People seem to not know how to communicate with each other without pushing each other’s buttons. People seem to use the wrong language or tone, which triggers another person’s dormant wounds (possibly repressed or unresolved issues from childhood or the past.) In addition, many of us did not have positive relationship models in our parents or caregivers, so we model that which we know. This is not always the healthiest manner in which to communicate. I coach individuals, executives and couples on how to communicate in a way that gets you the most positive results. I also have a product called Relationship Secrets that gives you the relationship techniques and strategies so you will communicate with success every time. One of the techniques is “active listening,” it’s a way of listening and repeating back what you have heard so the speaker feels listened to, heard and understood and/or validated by this exercise.

(2.)Being Heard and Listened to: One of the biggest complaints I hear woman make are that they do not feel heard or listened to by men. Women feel it’s because men don’t know how to listen. I believe that women many times don’t know how to talk to men, SO they WILL LISTEN. Many woman talk to men in a blaming or accusing way (negative tone and language), often men feel castrated when they are talked to in this way and so respond from a defensive animal like way. It’s their knee jerk response to being judged, criticized, and talked at. Women need to learn to talk in a way to help make men feel good first, then men will listen with open ears and open hearts. I teach individuals and couples this secret language of win-win communication. Contact me 310-202-1610 when you would like to learn this special way to talk so men will listen to you and even share with you.

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5 Steps To Success:Making Things Happen in Your Life

By · Tuesday, September 28th, 2010 · Comments Off on 5 Steps To Success:Making Things Happen in Your Life

I have found there are 5 steps to making things happen in my life.  First you have to think of what I want and then I need to have a vision of it- I have to be able to visually see it, taste it , then I must be able to feel what it’s like to be there or have what I am visioning, Fourth I must expect that I will create and manifest what I am thinking visioning and feeling I want. The final step is taking action towards what I want. When I do all these steps amazing things happen. I create what I want! Try it you will like it!

1.Thinking

2. Visioning

3. Feeling

4. Expectancy

5. Take action

I Took Action

Let Me Know When You Try These 5 Steps and How Successful You Are!

Also check out http://www.MasterThisMindset.com for more tips and tools for Changing Your Mindset,

Change your Life!

What A Blessed Day! Personal Growth is a Choice…

By · Sunday, August 22nd, 2010 · Comments Off on What A Blessed Day! Personal Growth is a Choice…

Cindy Brown headshotsmToday has been an amazing day! So much learning, so much growing, so much giving and receiving. God/Universe really has the perfect plan and design for human/spiritual evolution if you can know, see and play.

I am delighted to be learning so many new things that are going to really propel me in my business. I am eager to get started and really utilize all the information I am learning for the better of my business and to make it easier for me to share my gifts with more of the world.

Today I received a new client who needs a lot of help, God/Universe must have so much faith in me and my gifts to have sent me this person. I am honored to help cleanse this being and save her and rebirth her to her spiritual core.

It seems I always get sent certain kinds of people when I myself have just done my own work and pass through various phases in my own personal growth and development. We can only take people as far as we have journeyed ourselves. As Therapists, Coaches and healers we must constantly be shedding and processing and growing in order to continue to help more and more people who need deeper and deeper work.