Do You Need Spring Cleaning For Your Relationships?

By · Saturday, March 12th, 2011 · Comments Off on Do You Need Spring Cleaning For Your Relationships?

Spring Clean­ing for Your Relationship(s)” 


By Dr. Cindy Brown

Spring is sea­son­al­ly a time of new begin­nings for plants and ani­mals. It’s also a time for humans to start assess­ing what has hap­pened pre­vi­ous­ly in the first quar­ter and to deter­mine if you want to con­tin­ue that for the rest of the year.

I think it’s a great time as well to look at your relationship(s) and cleanup, or clean out what is not work­ing and plant some­thing new that will grow and har­vest through­out the rest of the year. Here are some steps you can take that can help you clean-up your rela­tion­ships so they are more ful­fill­ing:

Take an Inven­to­ry: Ask your­self right now- is your rela­tion­ship the way you want it to be? Look at your per­son­al as well as your rela­tion­ships at the office and with friends and fam­i­ly. Be hon­est with your­self, dig deep­er, this is the first step to cre­at­ing change and hav­ing the rela­tion­ship of your dreams!

Write a list of all the things, issues you don’t like in the rela­tion­ship. The issues you are angry or frus­trat­ed about, The things you are not get­ting or that you want instead, The things that dis­hon­or you, The issues that take away your abil­i­ty to be lov­ing or kind to the oth­er per­son.

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Prepare for Valentine’s Day Now!

By · Saturday, February 5th, 2011 · Comments Off on Prepare for Valentine’s Day Now!

HOW TO HAVE THE BEST VALENTINE’S DAY EVER?”

By Dr. Cindy Brown

Are you one of those peo­ple who dread Valen­tines Day? Are you afraid it will not turn out exact­ly the way you want it to? Well I would like to help you change your atti­tude this Valentine’s Day with a few sim­ple strate­gies I teach my clients all the time.

Whether you are in a rela­tion­ship, or you are sin­gle (see #5). It real­ly can be a nice cel­e­bra­tion of love and car­ing for your­self, or each oth­er if you are sen­si­tive about expec­ta­tions, feel­ings, fears, wants and needs. Let’s look at the dif­fer­ent ways you can make it a “win win” for every­one!

1. Start out by ini­ti­at­ing a con­ver­sa­tion about Valentine’s Day today, this week (with your­self and/or with your part­ner)! It’s pos­si­ble he/she hasn’t even focused on it yet, or for­got it is next week, or for­got on pur­pose to avoid uncom­fort­able feel­ings that he/she is not even con­scious of. Don’t react to this, sim­ply be pleas­ant and encour­age a lov­ing con­ver­sa­tion. Explore gen­tly what expec­ta­tions either of you have about; the day or evening or both; gifts or no gifts; trips or stay at home, etc. and start to under­stand the tone of what your part­ner is feel­ing at this time about the event, so you can know how to pro­ceed next.

2. Once you have explored #1 and you feel he/she is open to your sug­ges­tions, give your part­ner a list of choic­es of items you’d like; places you would like to go, food you would like to eat, activ­i­ties you’d like to do- in all price ranges, add some things he/she could do that would cost him/her noth­ing (do the laun­dry, go for a hike togeth­er, give you a mas­sage etc)

3. Be spe­cif­ic about col­ors, fla­vors, restau­rant names, times of the day, activ­i­ties. *Do not be vague or mys­te­ri­ous, or try to have him guess or sur­prise you- this usu­al­ly leads to unful­filled expec­ta­tions and upset (my Rela­tion­ship Secrets Prod­uct has a whole sec­tion on upset.) Help your part­ner be suc­cess­ful, help your­self be ful­filled and happy…BE SPECIFIC and detailed!

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BIG Goal">Secrets To Accomplishing A BIG Goal

By · Monday, January 3rd, 2011 · Comments Off on Secrets To Accomplishing A BIG Goal

Secrets To Accom­plish­ing A BIG Goal This Year, FNALLY!”

By Dr. Cindy Brown

Many of you have goals you want to accom­plish each New Year, but for some rea­son you don’t accom­plish them. WHY?

Some of the rea­sons seem to be:

√You Don’t write your goal down because you are afraid to fail, be judged by your­self or oth­ers for not com­plet­ing it.

√You Don’t write the goal down in a plan you can fol­low, so you have no plan to fol­low, so you may fail to com­plete it.

√You don’t think about the tasks need­ed to com­plete the goal, so there’s no plan, so you don’t move for­ward and com­plete it.

√You don’t tell any­one, so there’s no account­abil­i­ty, nor any moti­va­tion from oth­ers to move towards com­ple­tion of your goal, You can hide, then you fail your­self and your goal!

√You have a strong, vocal and active sab­o­tager part of your­self that allows you make excus­es to stop mov­ing towards your goal, dis­tracts you from want­i­ng to do what you need to do to accom­plish your goal, jus­ti­fies your actions or inac­tion, gives you a way out!

Do any of these sound famil­iar to you?

I know I have par­tic­i­pat­ed in all of them, so you are not alone! Nor should you feel like you are a com­plete fail­ure and you will nev­er be suc­cess­ful at accom­plish­ing what you want. Instead, like any per­son learn­ing a new skill, we need to learn good habits and ways of mov­ing for­ward in order to mas­ter the art of goal accom­plish­ment.

These are some of the secrets I have learned on my jour­ney to accom­plish­ing my goals and even fail­ing at some of my goals:

-I need to let oth­er peo­ple know what I am doing so I am account­able and moti­vat­ed by this “being seen” to keep mov­ing for­ward and com­plete what I start­ed. I can’t hide! Nor can I not com­plete what I start­ed due to this accoun­tibil­i­ty.

-I need to have a plan, with tasks that fit well in my sched­ule, My tasks need to be easy to do in the time­frame I plan for, it needs to be con­ve­nient for me.

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LOVE Enough?">Is LOVE Enough?

By · Sunday, December 5th, 2010 · Comments Off on Is LOVE Enough?

Is Love ENOUGH?”

By Dr. Cindy Brown

We think when we meet some­one and fall in love that the love should be enough to just heal any prob­lem or issue in our relationships…Right?

How­ev­er as we go along, we see that Rela­tion­ships can be and often are very com­pli­cat­ed due to the dif­fer­ent per­son­al­i­ties, back­grounds and rela­tion­ship expe­ri­ence of the two peo­ple involved.

The thing is, we don’t receive much train­ing for rela­tion­ships in our younger years or in school, and often the only expe­ri­ence we did receive is wit­ness­ing our care­givers inter­act as our role mod­els. And so what we wit­nessed as a child becomes what we learn, know and what is famil­iar to us. Then what we do is… either do exact­ly what we have seen and are famil­iar with, OR we try to do the oppo­site with­out any real train­ing of what is healthy and what will actu­al­ly work with our part­ner and our unique rela­tion­ship.

It is under­stand­able that the major­i­ty of peo­ple who are in rela­tion­ships have very unhealthy ways of relat­ing. Com­mu­ni­ca­tion is a tricky con­cept, and often men and women speak and lis­ten and com­pre­hend dif­fer­ent­ly, how­ev­er we expect each oth­er to do the same things and get frus­trat­ed when we both don’t do what each oth­er wants. Women com­plain men don’t lis­ten or open up and share their feel­ings or any­thing!! AND Men com­plain women talk a lot and are always nag­ging them.

SO What should you do? I rec­om­mend get­ting some coach­ing ear­ly so your rela­tion­ship doesn’t get to be a big­ger prob­lem than it is. You wouldn’t wait weeks and weeks OR EVEN months and years to fix a prob­lem with your health or car, would you?

Let me, the DR, know if there are any ques­tions you need answered, or advice you need, I am here to help you! ***Please do not make the mis­take of many and feel too proud that you should know every­thing, or be too ashamed or embar­rassed to ask for help. The smartest cou­ples ask for help and advice when there are issues. Be proac­tive, not reac­tive and your rela­tion­ship will be more of a suc­cess!

Remem­ber: In order to be the per­son you have nev­er been, In order to have the life and rela­tion­ships you have nev­er had, You must do what you have nev­er done before: Give me a call 310–202-1610 or con­tact me so I can sup­port you in hav­ing the best life you’ve ever had!

© 2009–2010 Dr. Cindy Brown 



WOULD YOU LIKE TO USE THIS RELATIONSHIP TIP?

You may, as long as you include the fol­low­ing infor­ma­tion along with this Tip:

Dr. Cindy Brown, author of The Cin­derel­la Sys­tem, helps Women and Men under­stand them­selves bet­ter from the Inside-Out, So You Too can have a Suc­cess­ful Life and Rela­tion­ship Now! Dr. Brown assists you to com­mu­ni­cate your needs bet­ter, teach­es you lis­ten­ing skills, helps you love and accept your body and to give and enjoy plea­sure, all so you can live the amaz­ing, hap­py life you deserve and desire! If you want to have and live the rela­tion­ship and life you real­ly, real­ly want, sub­scribe now to my award win­ning online Blog Rela­tion­ship Intel­li­gence and get my FR*E Tips at www.TheCinderellaSystemBook.com or www.DrCBrown.com

What’s Scary About Being In A Relationship, Part 1

By · Tuesday, November 2nd, 2010 · Comments Off on What’s Scary About Being In A Relationship, Part 1

What’s Scary About Being in a Rela­tion­ship? Part 1”

By Dr. Cindy Brown

What’s scary about being in a rela­tion­ship?

I’ll tell you! There are many things we hear from our friends, we see in the news, on TV, or in the lat­est movies such as “Why Did I Get Mar­ried?

AND despite the age-old myth of “you live hap­pi­ly ever after… in bliss,” being in a rela­tion­ship takes some work!  You actu­al­ly do have learn, know and use some rela­tion­ship skills to make it last longer these days. We only know how chal­leng­ing it can be because we see divorce rates soar­ing, our friends are in unsta­ble rela­tion­ships or break­ing up and we see the con­stant pop­u­lar­i­ty of the online-dat­ing revolv­ing door.

So what are some of the chal­lenges peo­ple are hav­ing being in rela­tion­ship?

This is what my friends and clients are reflect­ing to me are their issues…

(1.)Communication: Peo­ple seem to not know how to com­mu­ni­cate with each oth­er with­out push­ing each other’s but­tons. Peo­ple seem to use the wrong lan­guage or tone, which trig­gers anoth­er person’s dor­mant wounds (pos­si­bly repressed or unre­solved issues from child­hood or the past.) In addi­tion, many of us did not have pos­i­tive rela­tion­ship mod­els in our par­ents or care­givers, so we mod­el that which we know. This is not always the health­i­est man­ner in which to com­mu­ni­cate. I coach indi­vid­u­als, exec­u­tives and cou­ples on how to com­mu­ni­cate in a way that gets you the most pos­i­tive results. I also have a prod­uct called Rela­tion­ship Secrets that gives you the rela­tion­ship tech­niques and strate­gies so you will com­mu­ni­cate with suc­cess every time. One of the tech­niques is “active lis­ten­ing,” it’s a way of lis­ten­ing and repeat­ing back what you have heard so the speak­er feels lis­tened to, heard and under­stood and/or val­i­dat­ed by this exer­cise.

(2.)Being Heard and Lis­tened to: One of the biggest com­plaints I hear woman make are that they do not feel heard or lis­tened to by men. Women feel it’s because men don’t know how to lis­ten. I believe that women many times don’t know how to talk to men, SO they WILL LISTEN. Many woman talk to men in a blam­ing or accus­ing way (neg­a­tive tone and lan­guage), often men feel cas­trat­ed when they are talked to in this way and so respond from a defen­sive ani­mal like way. It’s their knee jerk response to being judged, crit­i­cized, and talked at. Women need to learn to talk in a way to help make men feel good first, then men will lis­ten with open ears and open hearts. I teach indi­vid­u­als and cou­ples this secret lan­guage of win-win com­mu­ni­ca­tion. Con­tact me 310–202-1610 when you would like to learn this spe­cial way to talk so men will lis­ten to you and even share with you.

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5 Steps To Success:Making Things Happen in Your Life

By · Tuesday, September 28th, 2010 · Comments Off on 5 Steps To Success:Making Things Happen in Your Life

I have found there are 5 steps to mak­ing things hap­pen in my life.  First you have to think of what I want and then I need to have a vision of it- I have to be able to visu­al­ly see it, taste it , then I must be able to feel what it’s like to be there or have what I am vision­ing, Fourth I must expect that I will cre­ate and man­i­fest what I am think­ing vision­ing and feel­ing I want. The final step is tak­ing action towards what I want. When I do all these steps amaz­ing things hap­pen. I cre­ate what I want! Try it you will like it!

1.Thinking

2. Vision­ing

3. Feel­ing

4. Expectan­cy

5. Take action

I Took Action

Let Me Know When You Try These 5 Steps and How Suc­cess­ful You Are!

Also check out http://www.MasterThisMindset.com for more tips and tools for Chang­ing Your Mind­set,

Change your Life!

What A Blessed Day! Personal Growth is a Choice…

By · Sunday, August 22nd, 2010 · Comments Off on What A Blessed Day! Personal Growth is a Choice…

Cindy Brown headshotsmToday has been an amaz­ing day! So much learn­ing, so much grow­ing, so much giv­ing and receiv­ing. God/Universe real­ly has the per­fect plan and design for human/spiritual evo­lu­tion if you can know, see and play.

I am delight­ed to be learn­ing so many new things that are going to real­ly pro­pel me in my busi­ness. I am eager to get start­ed and real­ly uti­lize all the infor­ma­tion I am learn­ing for the bet­ter of my busi­ness and to make it eas­i­er for me to share my gifts with more of the world.

Today I received a new client who needs a lot of help, God/Universe must have so much faith in me and my gifts to have sent me this per­son. I am hon­ored to help cleanse this being and save her and rebirth her to her spir­i­tu­al core.

It seems I always get sent cer­tain kinds of peo­ple when I myself have just done my own work and pass through var­i­ous phas­es in my own per­son­al growth and devel­op­ment. We can only take peo­ple as far as we have jour­neyed our­selves. As Ther­a­pists, Coach­es and heal­ers we must con­stant­ly be shed­ding and pro­cess­ing and grow­ing in order to con­tin­ue to help more and more peo­ple who need deep­er and deep­er work.