“Are You Making a Big Mistake? Relationship Tricks or Treats?”


“Are You Making a Big Mistake? Relationship Tricks or Treats?”

by Dr. Cindy Brown

I know there is a lot of relationship advice out there: some people listen to Dr. Phil and Oprah on T.V.; we read books like- Men are from Mars, Woman are from Venus and Why Men like Bitches; we listen on the radio to Dr. Laura. So why should you listen to me? Because I am a Behavior & Relationship Specialist and have 20+ years of experience working with happy and unhappy couples and individuals, business people and employees and I know what is not working and what IS WORKING when it comes to relationships.

Here are some of the most common mistakes I have seen my clients and friends make in their personal and professional relationships:

1. Getting Upset: This occurs when you think (expect) the person you are in relationship (or communication with) knows what you want and need. How many times have you been upset when your partner, colleague or employee you relate with has not acted the way you wanted him/her to?  I teach people how to avoid this kind of upset and communicate and relate more effectively so you feel happier and more successful inside and outside of the office and within personal partnerships. Assumptions, making up stories in your head about what you think happen, what you think should happen are not always accurate. If you then  react to this assumption you have made a 2nd mistake.

2. Creating Stories: Do you ever remember a time when you witnessed an event with a group of people and noticed that each person recalled that event differently? This is common because we each see things through our own unique pair of glasses, eyes, or filters that are made up of how we view the world, from how we have experienced life up until that point. Realizing this very important fact saves you from upset and assuming people experience and understand the world the way you do. I teach people to identify what’s real for them and what their stories are and how these can get them into trouble within their relationships.

3. Using “You” Communication: The most common mistake people make is pointing their finger at someone and saying “YOU……. “ The majority of people I coach ask me for help with some form of communicating. Whether it is “how do I manage an employee so he is not threatened by me?”, or  “how do I tell my partner how I like to be pleased or to have sex?”  Using the right communication makes all the difference in the world with the results you get in these two situations. I teach people how to be the most successful in the situations they are finding to be the most challenging, at work or in the home.

By using “I “ statements, you will get more of what you want with the least amount of upset from those you are communicating with.

These are just 3 of the most common mistakes people make in relationshipsPlease contact me if you would like additional coaching and support to STOP making the relationship mistakes outlined above.I can teach you the proper skills to communicate and relate better!

HAPPY RELATING!

© 2006-2012 Dr. Cindy Brown

 WANT TO REPUBLISH THIS ARTICLE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: “Behavior and Relationship Specialist Dr. Cindy Brown  helps individuals and couples to have healthier relationships that include respectful and loving communication, satisfying intimacy and connection, and healthy attachment and autonomy. Dr. Brown provides coaching and educational materials for you to improve your relationships right now! To get started visit www.RealIntimacyNow.com

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